Tribute To My Mother, Jean Clutts Ross

I wrote this note on my facebook page soon after my mother passed away. 

My sweet loving mother, Jean C. Ross, went to be with the Lord one year ago today, January 26, 2010. She suffered from bladder cancer for 2 years; however, through out the 2 year period I rarely heard my mother complain. When my daddy had his stroke in Dec. 2008, mom's life would be forever changed. Once we got daddy settled into the nursing home (Asbury at Aldersgate), mom went back to the house they lived in for 40 years alone for the first time. We knew at that point we had to move mom out of the house and get her closer to daddy. Unfortunately, in late January '09 we found out that mom's bladder cancer had moved into her lung. Surgery was scheduled in February. After her surgery, we moved mom into the nursing home to recovery and be close to daddy. During this time, mom had a room right across the hall from daddy on the first floor. For three weeks she was able to recover and be close to her Beloved Bobby. Then Kathy and I proceeded to move mom into a beautiful apartment in Aldersgate which put her in the same community that daddy was in and would be for the rest of his life. Mom's daily routine from March '09- September '09 was to get up every morning and begin making her way over to daddy's room to visit him for the day. Fortunately, the Eastway Church Family stepped in and provided mom with all the resources she needed when Kathy, Wayne or I could not provide it ourselves. It was such a beautiful example of what Christ intended to the church to do when its members are in need. I'll never forget all the visits from church members (past and present) who visited mom and dad daily. 

As the year progressed so did mom's cancer. Cancer is such an evil disease when it takes over your body. In September '09, the doctor told us mom had 2 months at best to live. Given that information, we moved mom from her apartment and placed her into Asbury. The Lord opened up a room on the 2nd floor where daddy was. She was on one end and daddy was on the other - but that did not deter mom from either walking or strolling herself down the hall in her wheelchair to see daddy. Plus the Asbury staff would bring daddy to mom if she couldn't make it. Then in mid-December '09, the room across from mom's opened up and we were able to move daddy into that room. Oh what a blessing! For the next 7 weeks mom and dad had their own little corner of the world at the end of the hall. It made it so very convenient for everyone to visit them and to allow them to visit each other. Just another wonderful blessing from the Lord.

Mom lived up to the day she became unresponsive. I remember walking into her room and seeing her in the coma...I couldn't leave her side. I knew her days were few...very few. I stayed with mom Saturday and Sunday night. Then on Monday morning, my birthday, mom opened her eyes for the first time in 3 days. Ah! What a beautiful birthday gift she gave me! Later that evening when Wayne, Kathy and I were sitting in her room and having a birthday moment (opening gifts and cards) mom opened her eyes again - she wanted me to know that she was there with us. 

We went to dinner and came back to her room. The nurses said it wouldn't be very long. We stayed with mom all night watching her breath swallow breathes wondering if each one was the last. At 5am I looked at my brother, Wayne, and said "she could do this for several more hours". Being extremely exhausted and with no sleep, we left mom knowing that more than likely that was the last time we would see her alive. Then 4 hours later, mom took her final breath and saw Jesus for the first time at 8:55am. 

I wanted to be with my dear mama when she passed from this life to the next. I tried very hard to do so - not leaving her side except to have a birthday dinner with my siblings. I look back and realized that mama didn't want me there. She wanted me to have the memory of her alive and well - not eaten up by cancer. Mama had a way of getting what she wanted and that's what she wanted in the end. She knew that dying to this old body was life in her glorious body. She is now truly living! And she is enjoying the glories of heaven with my daddy. 

At mom's funeral, I couldn't prepare a eulogy for her. My heart was too raw, too tender. I just spoke from my heart...literally. Still to this day, it's hard for me to form the words to express what my dear precious mother meant to me. She was the most beautiful woman...lady I've ever known. She was the definition of "mother". She lived her life with such grace and elegance. She was a quiet woman (at times) but very mindful. She loved us (Wayne, Kathy, Me) and would do anything for us. She was our biggest defender and advocate. She made it a point in her day to always be home when we returned from school in the afternoon. Daddy always woke us up and  got us out the door, but mama welcomed us home. She had dinner on the table every night. We always celebrated our birthdays ON our birthdays - never before or after.  As mom got older she became more vocal and funny. She would often burst into a song (typically from the 40's era) to respond to the moment at hand. She had the memory of an elephant too. She forgave, but she rarely forgot. 

The most inspiring aspect of mom was her prayer life. She prayed every morning and night. I remember seeing her when I was child on her knees at her bed praying for all the family. Calling each one of us by name. As mom and dad grew older, their prayer life got stronger. Many people called mom and dad to have them pray for them. When mom and dad prayed you knew that the Lord had heard. That was mom and dad's ministry at the end of their life- praying and ministering to others in need. In mom's last days, she was praying for everyone who came to visit her. Amazing!!!

I could go on and on about my sweet mother. My desire and prayer is that I can be just half the mother to my three beautiful daughters that she was to me. Mama left me a wonderful legacy and for that I'm forever grateful to her. I know that I will see my mom and dad again. That in itself gives me hope and fills my heart with joy. The grief has lessened, the burden is lighter and my faith is stronger. 

Thank you Mama! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I feel so blessed to be YOUR child, YOUR Baby Girl, YOUR Sunshine. I love you with all my heart and I'm smiling the smile you always loved to see on my face. As you would often say to me "you smile through tears". Here's one for you!!!

I love you forever,

Renee